Mother's Choice Chief Executive Officer Sky Siu is on the show this week.

Sky shares with us the work her organization has been doing in providing hope and a bright future for girls who must make the decision how their babies may grow up in Hong Kong.

Check out the full transcript of TVB’s Straight Talk host Dr Eugene Chan’s interview with Sky Siu:

Chan: Good evening, and welcome to Straight Talk. I'm Eugene Chan and with me is Sky Siu, the new CEO of Mother's Choice, a well-established local NGO that has been supporting Hong Kong’s most vulnerable children and pregnant teenagers since 1987. Prior to Mother’s Choice, Siu served as executive director of KELY Support Group for 12 years. She was a member of the World Economic Forum's Global Shaper Community and since 2015, Sky has advanced Hong Kong's welfare policy as a standing committee member for the Hong Kong Council of Social Services. Her deep commitment to child and youth welfare is rooted in her upbringing as the daughter of missionary parents in West Ghana. So, this evening, Sky is here to talk about the incredible work Mother's Choice is doing and the challenges they face. So, Sky, welcome to the show.

Siu: Thank you so much. Eugene.

Chan: Right, Sky. The title of the show tonight is: “Do babies have a choice?” I'm sure the viewers would say “what an interesting question”, because when babies are born, they should be looked after by the parents, and the choices are made by their parents or their loved ones. So, why is this question related to the work of Mother's Choice?

Siu: You know, actually, that's a great question. Eugene, you know, when babies are born into a family, you know, of course, like you said, naturally, the parents, they have the responsibility to be able to take care of them and do what they need for them. But when babies don't have a family, they actually have nobody. And that's why organizations like Mother's Choice really step in, to help them to see what they need, to stand up for them, to speak up for them as well. You know, Hong Kong is a signatory of the UN Convention of the Rights of Children. And as a city, we very much believe that every child has the right to love, to safety, to protection over violence, and, amongst many other things, family. And so for those of us at Mother's Choice, we hope to be able to achieve this through our key services. We have children, we have youth, we have family, we have community services, and ultimately, at the end of the day, it’s really to ensure that the children, like you said, that babies have a choice.

Chan: Right Sky, I'm sure the viewers would have heard of Mother's Choice and other organizations who look after such cases as we called, or your clients, as you called. How often do you get to see these cases? I mean, I'm sure if you have a choice, it will be … there'll be no cases. But unfortunately, this happens in the world, everywhere in the world. And how often do you see cases? And what is the prevalence?

Siu: Actually, the situation is that, when we first started in 1987, our founders really, the reason why they founded this was because they came across newspaper articles of a lot of young girls who were facing crisis pregnancy, and they were going across the border to actually do late-term abortions. And from that, they actually decided, “Hey, you know, we need to do something about it.” And they came after a lot of research, to decide, okay, let's actually have a home for the girls that is very supportive and very non-judgmental. And I think that that's something that's pretty unique for us, that we've been able to see a lot of children that are vulnerable to be able to come through, and also young girls who are facing those crisis pregnancies. You know, in a year, we're getting around over 500 calls from different girls who are in crisis pregnancy. And every day, you know, our childcare home is full of people, and we have a lot of young people who are actually in the system as well. You asked a little bit about the prevalence, just a little bit of statistics for you here: we currently have 4,500 children that are in the care system. But it may not seem like a big number, but actually, there're 1,000 more that are waiting to be placed. And all of these are actually quite complex cases. They're not straightforward, and, so, the need is huge, and it's something that hasn't really changed since when we first started.

Chan: Right. Just now, you mentioned you've received over 500 calls a year. So, if one of our viewers comes across a case like that and if we want to help them, or it could even be part of a family, what do we do? Do we just make a phone call and someone will help the girl?

Siu: Yeah. So, there're different ways that individuals can come and find us at Mother's Choice. We obviously have a hotline that the girls can call us, but interested family members or people who are concerned about a situation can also call us as well. We also work very closely with the government – with the Social Welfare (Department) and also with other organizations that work with children who are vulnerable and also girls who are, maybe, facing difficulties. And so we get a lot of those referrals as well. But absolutely …

Chan: Sky, who will be the ones calling, girls themselves or their families, or even on the boy side? What will be the common persons calling in?

Siu: We actually do have a variety, but the majority of them will be, you know, teen girls who are in crisis pregnancy, and also maybe their family members. And in addition, one other thing would be, perhaps also their referral workers when they're already in the care system. And that's something that we've seen, Eugene. A lot of the girls that are coming to us are actually in the system themselves. And that's something that we've seen that's very, very different. You know, we call it the vicious cycle, because what we're seeing is that … So let's just say, a child is born and into a residential care system, because their mom and dad are not able to take care of them. From there, if that baby is a girl, she might actually grow up in the system, more likely, actually, to become pregnant when she becomes a teenager.

Chan: Is that right?

Siu: You know, and without a stable family, without a permanent family that loves them and takes care of them, without a community that supports this young girl, she herself might actually end up back into the residential care system as well. Her baby will end up back into the residential care system and, and that is something how it just starts all over again. And that's why, for us, at Mother's Choice, you know, we care a lot about, how do we actually ensure that these vulnerable children are actually placed, in advance, earlier, into permanent families, so that they can be safe and be able to thrive.

Chan: Right. Sky, you've mentioned a few terms, and let's clarify them. You mentioned foster care, you mentioned residential care and then permanent homes. I mean, let's clarify.

Siu: It's very technical.

Chan: Let's clarify for the viewers. So, what you're saying is, if we come across some issues, whoever called the hotline ...

Siu: Yeah.

Chan: … then I'm sure you help them to navigate through this tough period.

Siu: Yeah.

Chan: What will be the typical line of work that you do? After you receive the call, what will be the options the girls can receive?

Siu: You mentioned earlier, I used a lot of terminologies. Let's start with a child that is born and doesn't have a mom and dad readily available to help them. So, what they will end up doing is that they will get placed into residential care, which is institutional care. Now, mind you, residential care is very temporary. It's not permanent at all. So, for us, at Mother's Choice, we really advocate and make sure that these babies get into homes so that they are able to actually thrive. Foster families, that's one family-based, sort of alternative. You know, they can get into a family that is temporary, once again. But it's at least in a family setting, and it's not in an institutional setting. And you know, parents, there could be a set of family that would be able to help them and to support them and help them thrive and go. But again, that could be one month, it could be one day. It could be three years as well, right? And then the other option would be, if the baby actually has no options at all, with parents available to really care for them at all, and we've done everything we can to reunite them with their birth parents and they can't do that, then we have to look at other options, for example, like adoption. And what adoption is? It’s very different from fostering. Adoption basically is a process where it's a lifelong commitment that you take a child into your family and at Mother's Choice, we like to fondly call this term forever family. So, we don't use the term permanent family, but we'll say forever family.

Chan: I also read that under your Mother's Choice, you have a vision of every child in a loving family. That means, under different situations, you'd like the child to be in this direction, isn't it?

Siu: Well, absolutely, you know, let me give you an example. Say, my family, I am married, I have two kids, you know, and we just recently had a second son. And it's really great watching him grow and develop and adapt to our family. Children really need a family to thrive. And not just a family, but they actually need a permanent one, so that they have a feeling of safety. They have a feeling that they are actually being able to be taken care of, you know. And that's actually one of the priorities for us, for us at Mother's Choice, to be able to help children, to be able to get into those permanent families immediately, quicker. And why? Eugene, you might ask. It’s because the longer they stay in the care system, actually the more negative impact they'll have in their lives in the future. And we don't want that, because we want our next generation to thrive.

Chan: Right, Sky. Thank you very much for giving us a bird's eye view of what's happening in Hong Kong. But I'm sure the viewers would also like to know over the last 30, 40 years since it was established in 1987, has the profile of the cases changed? I mean, are you seeing younger and younger pregnancies? Are you seeing even more complex problems? But what do you see, and also is the incidence increasing, or about the same or decreasing?

Siu: To answer that question, I'd like to take us a little bit about when we first started. You know, I think our co-founders had in mind when they were helping young girls who were facing crisis pregnancy, that they realized that these girls felt like they didn't have a choice and they needed to make a decision, and they didn't know how to make that decision because they didn't have all the facts. And so, back then, it was about giving them the education to know, “Okay, actually, when you're in this situation, there are different things that different pathways that you can choose”. So, back then, we saw 90 percent of our girls were actually choosing adoption for their children, for the babies that they were having. And now today, we're seeing that 70 percent of them are choosing to parent themselves.

Chan: Really?

Siu: Yes, which is really amazing, you know, for us. And so, we actually are finding ourselves being able to not just work with these teen girls, but actually we're then working with their children. Now, the difficult thing is, a lot of these girls come from very complex families, and so, without the love and support of a strong family themselves, they're then facing difficulties on how they can raise their baby. So, then what we're seeing is another profile of clients. You know, we're seeing children, very vulnerable children coming from very complex backgrounds. We were saying earlier about children that are in residential care. I think about 40 percent of those are actually special needs. And 60 percent of them come from very complicated family backgrounds. So, the question is, how can we actually help these girls and also these children who are extremely vulnerable to get the love and support that they can as soon as possible? So, we work with peer agencies. We work with the government. We really work with the whole community through education and a lot of support so that we can make sure that every child is in a loving family.

Chan: Alright, Sky. Let's take a break now. But viewers, stay tuned. We will be right back.

Chan: Thank you for staying with us. The CEO of Mother's Choice, Sky Siu, has been sharing with us about how Mother's Choice has been providing hope and support to Hong Kong's most vulnerable children and pregnant teenagers. So, Sky, in the first half, I think you have shared with the viewers the different terms or options that these girls are facing when they are having this crisis. And, also, I am sure it helps not only the girls, as said earlier, but also the boys as well. I am sure not all kids are irresponsible.

Siu: Yes.

Chan: So, what are the challenges that you can share with the viewers that you think the girls will face? And how do you overcome it? I think that's the most important thing.

Siu: Yeah. You know, actually one of the key things that we are seeing that is causing challenges is actually social isolation. So, you know, when we look back into Hong Kong, like for example, when I was a child, I would hear my parents talk about how in Hong Kong in the old days, my grandparents were factory workers and we even got to a point where some days we didn't have food, but then all the uncles and aunties down the street, the shopkeepers, they will all contribute something just to keep us going as a family. You know that community spirit sometimes is a little bit lost today. We are not seeing as much of that. And what we are seeing, as a result, is broken homes, we are seeing single-parent households, we are seeing children actually growing up in environments where they are being neglected, abandoned, and even sometimes facing abuse, you know. Something that we have not seen before is, for example, the significant impact of drug use, hidden drug use, and how that has impacted the children's development, for example. You know recently I was just looking through our cases, and about 70 percent of them are actually children who are coming from having a parent that has had drug history before. You know, we are facing an unprecedented child protection crisis at the moment, Eugene, and that is something that we really care a lot about because we are worried about it. However, like I said, I think the good thing is that we are a Chinese society, that actually embedded in our values is actually that community support, and that community spirit, where we can actually wrap around a vulnerable group, and vulnerable individuals, and actually be able to help them where we can. And so for children right now, as long as we are aware, as long as the community is aware of the needs, I actually really believe that we can come together and really help place children into safe families and ones that are permanent, and ones that are wrapped around from community support as well.

Chan: Right. Sky, I really appreciated one comment you made earlier before we walked into the show. I asked:  there are three organizations that I am aware of – the Po Leung Kuk, also the ISS, doing the same thing. And I said how do you see how different roles you will play? And you said looking at a very collaborative approach.

Siu: Yes.

Chan: So, I am sure the viewers by now would be sort of motivated and be understanding of this situation.

Siu: Yeah.

Chan: At Straight Talk, we will go into deeper now. How can the viewers support your work? Is it financially that you need people? Or you need people to actually help talk to the girls? Or even foster family? Or even adoptive parents?

Siu: That is a good question, thank you so much for asking me about this. You know, right now, because of the number of children that are in the waiting system at the moment that need to be placed, we actually need a lot more foster families. Foster families is a volunteer thing, but actually the government has been very good to actually providing stipends and subsidies for families who are choosing to say “Hey, I am okay, and I can help to foster a kid as well.” And so, that is something that we very much need, viewers. If you are interested and would like to actually join us to become foster parents. That is one thing.

Chan: What will be the requirements to be a foster parent?

Siu: A willing heart, somebody who's just willing to, at any given time, be able to take in a baby, a child, who is in desperate need of a home. That is all it really takes. And, of course, there are some procedural things, but at the end of the day, it’s somebody who has a willing heart, that is willing learn on how to love somebody who is coming from a very difficult background.

Chan: As you know, most families are having a double income, families that both the man and the wife will go out to work. Then is it all right if they have the domestic helper helping to look after the child?

Siu: Absolutely. You know, in fact, I think the more people in the community, in the family, to support the better. And this reminds me of an initiative that actually we do and actually I would love to invite people who are interested to also join us. We launched a program a couple of years ago called ‘Safe Families’, and the concept of it is wrapping around a young girl who has chosen to make a decision to become a parent, and while it's very complicated and it's very difficult, oftentimes they haven’t finished school or they may still need to be working, is how do we recruit willing members of the community to actually say, “Hey, I am willing to join and sign up with a couple of other people in my community, and we will be this girl’s and her baby’s family.”

Chan: Wow, that is very meaningful.

Siu: And by doing that actually, you know, it means that if they need babysitting support, if they need somebody to help, if they need a shoulder to cry on, if they need some resources, that it is not just one family or two families, but actually it is multiple families. This is actually a program that we are really proud of. And we just wrapped up our first pilot year of the program, and we saw that of all the people that we were able to help, none of the girls needed to put their child back into the residential care system. For us that's a massive win.

Chan: Wow. And also you mentioned earlier about the 4,500 kids in the residential care.

Siu: Yeah.

Chan: That means you must need a very big facility, although you said that it’s not a high number. To anybody, 4,000-odd people is a lot of numbers.

Siu: It is, it is an incredible number.

Chan: Do you have … is the government helping enough in that aspect? Or is it all from the private sector?

Siu: You know, actually the government has done an incredible amount. We have run residential care for around 30 years, maybe even more. And that is very much hand-in-hand together with the government. And I really do commend John Lee’s administration and the past administrations because they really had the foresight to really put resources but also thinking behind how we do help children, especially those in vulnerable situations, to be able to help them. And you know, you can see in the last couple of years, we have had legislations changed, we have had policies put into place that can really help to protect these children in this time. And I think one thing that I can really say is that working together collaboratively – that is something that is our goal. You know, and working towards an ultimate vision, and for us that vision is that all of these children are able to have a safe family that is permanent and one that really loves them because that will ensure their future ability to thrive in Hong Kong.

Chan: Right. Let’s move on to another area that take one step deeper will be being the adoptive parents.

Siu: Sure.

Chan: I know that this is … the kids can be adopted locally or, even, internationally.

Siu: Absolutely.

Chan: And there are like over 100 on the waiting list. So, who are the nice people, so-called nice people that are willing to look after these unfortunate kids? What do they need? What are the criteria?

Siu: Again, Eugene, this is something that, for me, I have been really touched joining Mother’s Choice, because I've seen a lot of our local families here really putting up their hands and say, “I am willing to love a child and I want to welcome one child or two children into my family.” You know we have a lot of local families here who are actually stepping up to the plate because they see a need and they want to be a part of the solution as well. Unfortunately, Eugene, we also have a lot of children in our childcare facility who actually are special needs, and it's very difficult. Even for me, thinking about the number of resources and time. You know in Hong Kong we are a difficult place sometimes, we are all quite stressed and with our own things that we're doing, but we actually have a lot of very loving families, also overseas, who are willing to take on children with extreme special need cases, kids who can't walk or paralyzed have severe mental health challenges. And, so, we see a variety of this, both locally and also internationally.

Chan: Right. And also since we touched into the area, I have been reading up about this, and there are some stigmas that I am sure you can explain to the viewers. One of them … three of them, number one, they said that all these kids that need adoption are often from bad families, so-called.

Siu: Okay.

Chan: And also they say that all the adoptive parents will never love them as much as their own biological child.

Siu: Right, right …

Chan: And, lastly, being adopted kids would all look for, longing to see their real biological parents, but reject the adoptive parents. How do you answer those three questions?

Siu: Eugene, that is very difficult, but I think what it comes down to is the fact that I think all these are very, perhaps, instantaneous things. I want to take a step back and actually share about a young girl who actually came through our Safe Families. She actually didn’t come from a difficult family, she came from a very good family, they loved her, but very unfortunately, their family went through a very traumatic incident that caused a lot of difficulties just for her parents. And because of that, she wasn't able to get the love and attention that she needed as a teenager. And as a result, she tried to find it elsewhere, got pregnant, and realized one day that she couldn't support her baby, but she wanted to choose to parent. And, actually, she joined our Safe Families program, had a community that really helped her, had social workers that helped her to be able to repair and mend and build those relationships with her own birth family, herself. So, now they are actually living in a place where she's in a healthy place, she has a family of her own, and she's very much connected back to her family. So, I think what I'm saying, Eugene, at the end of the day, you know there're a lot of children that are in these circumstances. And it is not their options, they didn’t choose … back to the question originally that you were saying, “Do babies have a choice?” They don’t really choose the path that ends up for them. And for us, our job is to make sure that their future is bright, and so how do we do that? Our version of it, and we feel that is something that Hong Kong can also help us to embrace, is providing those permanent families, ones that will love them, take care of them, and ensure that they will succeed.

Chan: Well, thank you, Sky, for sharing the inspiring work that Mother's Choice is doing. Babies don’t have a choice in the circumstances they’re born into, but their futures are shaped by the decisions we, as a society, make. We can all play a part in giving every child the chance to grow up in a safe, loving family.

As it’s often said, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Thank you for joining us and have a good evening!