I am very disappointed with the proposal made by the Family Planning Association of Hong Kong that sexuality education should be an independent subject to be included in the school curriculum. Grace Lee Ming-ying, the association’s education manager, expressed that view in an interview in connection with the suggestion made by the secretary of education that young men and women should not engage in premarital sex and should pledge to defer sex till they are married.
Earlier, in response to a suggestion made by the secretary of education, The New York Times, tongue in cheek, used the headline Fighting Sexual Temptation? Play Badminton, Hong Kong Tells Teenagers. Lee agreed in principle that there is a need to set limits to intimacy but thought that signing a pledge to that effect may not be appropriate. Moreover, she thinks that teenagers should be empowered and should make responsible decisions on their own, instead of being told what is appropriate and what is not.
The Education Bureau reportedly disagrees with the proposal for sexuality education being included in the school curriculum as a separate and independent subject. A spokesman said that this could lead to significant overlap, and in addition, could send the wrong message that only the teachers assigned to teach the subject have the responsibility to teach sexuality education. The bureau prefers that sex and sexuality education be a subject that involves everybody.
Lee maintained that young people should not be told what to do and what not to do and should have the leeway to make their own decisions. She is right. But I have no idea how she can square her position that there should be clear limits to the extent of intimacy with her other view that young people should be allowed to establish an enlightened view toward sex and sexuality.
I have always held that isolating sex or sexuality from life education will send the wrong message to young people. Life education is about educating people to value life and particularly human life. That includes valuing their own lives and other people’s lives, respecting other people’s freedom of choice, and by implication, never imposing one’s will on other people. Forcing your boyfriend or girlfriend to engage in sex, irresponsibly engaging in sex, running the risk of contracting and transmitting sexual diseases, and having to get an abortion after the girl becomes pregnant will all lead to unnecessary suffering and pain. Moreover, excessive indulgence in sexual fantasies or sex activities distracts one from self-actualizing in many worthy causes. Young people are entitled to make their own decisions but must face the consequences.
Sex is a part of life and should be treated as such. There is no presumption that sex is more important than other aspects of life. Life education is always about respecting life, guiding youngsters about how to make the most out of their lives, and developing a sense of proportion. Isolating sex from other parts of life education goes against having a sense of proportion. Sex would become paramount. But relating to people, connecting with people, treating other people as equals, are all important.
Losing this sense of proportion could lead to tragedy. Without respect for one’s date, one could become violent toward him or her. Without a proper sense of proportion, one could kill oneself for being rejected. One could spend a large part of one’s life pursuing sexual pleasures, neglecting to develop the many talents and potentials that one may well possess.
As a matter of fact, I am quite pleased with the expected outcomes of sexuality education laid down in the 2008 Moral and Civic Education curriculum framework, which is available only in Chinese. I will translate the learning outcomes for Form 4 to Form 6 students as follows: (a) Using a rational and critical approach, be able to tell the relationship between the social atmosphere pertaining to sex and the public media. (b) Being able to make judgments about engaging in sex based on a responsible assessment covering consequences, mutual respect, and mutual decisions. (c) Understanding safe sex and able to say no (when one does not want it). (d) Respecting one’s own body and refusing to make exchanges for material gains with one’s body. (e) With independent thinking, appreciating how popular culture, peer pressure, and the media affect dating, romantic love, and sex. (f) Learning the responsibility of parents in supporting and caring for their children. (g) Critically and carefully examining social issues relating to sex.
I am glad that parenting education is mentioned here. However, citing parenting education in the expected learning outcomes of parenting education in the curriculum is one thing; offering proper guidelines and realistic supporting materials is quite another matter. I have argued before and I reiterate that the absence of effective life education and parenting education is an important reason for the decline of the fertility rate in many societies. Prospective parents will not want to be parents if they cannot manage their emotional challenges. They do not want to give birth to another generation of unhappy people struggling just to survive.
The author is an adjunct research professor at Pan Sutong Shanghai-Hong Kong Economic Policy Research Institute and the Economics Department, Lingnan University.
The views do not necessarily reflect those of China Daily.
